[NT] NTP relationships

[Domino]

- A misanthrope. Everybody always wants to drive into my personal space and park there for hours! Go. The. H***. Away!

hahahah! Time to hire a meter maid.

Great first "real" post, Priam. You have an interesting angle.

 

[chippinchunk]

Here is one possible case scenario:

The NF is more feelings oriented.
The NT is more intellectual oriented.
The NF mistakes the NT's intellectual debates as a cold expression of their true feelings, when in fact, the NT is only speaking theory.

" Verbally as well as cerebrally quick, ENTPs enjoy arguing: for its own sake, and to show off their impressive verbal skills. They often have a perverse sense of humour, and play devil's advocate regardless of consequence. They sometimes confuse, even hurt, those who cannot understand the concept of argument as a sport." -- ENTP.ORG

Nice.
I agree completely!
(or the NF was just a complete ******)

 

[CzeCze]

Yesterday I read something on INTPc that made me sick.

"Do you ever get bored with them? My friend made a good point when he said once you have analyzed someone enough, there isn't much new to be offered there. I think he is also an INTP and would rather talk to strangers for the sake of fresh perspective then people he already knows. I can't help but agree. What do you think?"

Not really about type but I have heard/read/interacted with people like this. I chalk it up mostly to immaturity and insecurity, especially being terrified of intimacy, emotions and especially of being 'seen'. When I say 'people like this' let me be more specific: folks who go out of their way to show a detached sense of superiority, especially intellectual superiority and make it widely known they don't care for commoners except for amusement. And feelings are for wusses.

Maybe these folks would have test as NTPs? Who need to grow up? On Ennegram forums, people who talk with illusions of grandeur and talk of other stupider/lesser people as pawns to use or mock or ignore -- they're generally 3's. Also immature. It's their raging insecurity talking.

Outside of type, I generally chalk up attitudes like this to males under 25. Hey, I didn't start stereotyping here, I'm just expanding the circle. And, I wouldn't be surprised if the poster had only encountered immature NTPs. Was she a student? College campuses are ripe for immature versions of all types and some departments/majors will have a lot of NTPs. And the OP is probably much more likely to notice people who piss them off (the unhealthy NTPs) than folks who don't (healthy NTP).

I also have to agree with Pink, I've read much worse and much broader condemnations about NFs (uh, especially ENFXs, thank you) on this forum where nobody even mentions the word 'unhealthy' and 'not representative of the norm'.

As Bluewing mentioned, any type can be unhealthy.

 

[htb]

The problem of the OP outlines Introverted Judgment gone corrupt in combination with the NTP opportunistic mindset.

This is where they stop taking their principles seriously and turn their self-apotheosis outwards.

Theorized this way, can the cause be an external stimulus?

 

[white]

Theorized this way, can the cause be an external stimulus?

Ne. I'd go for yes actually. But my judgement could be corrupt. =i

Frequently take things harder then they were meant, or read so much between the lines that the lines get blurred, if that is clear. Or fail to see what is obvious at times. Then come down hardest on yourself.

The way out is probably then Fe or Se / tertiary.

 

[armstrongvk12]

"INTP and ENTP are my least favorite types -- I don't even like to be in the same room with these people. They seem to enjoy constant conflict. I've had several as close friends for a time, but when my intellectual appeal wore off they got nasty. From my experience, they are amoral, sadistic, colorless in personality with no concept of empathy. They seem like poorly designed simulacra of a human, inverted into constant self-worship. Their single-minded goal of 'appearing right' seems impossibly empty to me, not to mention dull and draining."

Have you had similar experiences with such NTPs?

Introverted Judgment, if had not found a higher purpose will be radically ego-centric. If the NTP does not discover an internal higher purpose to commit to. He will turn inwards anyways, as Introverted Judgment cannot go anywhere else, thus there will be nothing to find but his own ego. Thus, self-apotheosis is nearly an inevitable consequence of a malfunctioning Introverted Judgment.

I think healthy NTPs will not have their ethic orient around their ego and will very much be willing to commit to principles bigger than themselves.

I have had a similar experience to the one described above with an INTP. But this ex-boyfriend has mental issues. Even though he is an unhealthy INTP...I would probably hesitate to date another INTP male again. Too sadistic and callous in my opinion. I do have a female INTP friend who is quite the opposite, but she has a healthy mindset.

I don't know who the INFP was...but I find INTPc a negative forum in general.

 

[LordPwnage]

"INTP and ENTP are my least favorite types -- I don't even like to be in the same room with these people. They seem to enjoy constant conflict. I've had several as close friends for a time, but when my intellectual appeal wore off they got nasty. From my experience, they are amoral, sadistic, colorless in personality with no concept of empathy. They seem like poorly designed simulacra of a human, inverted into constant self-worship. Their single-minded goal of 'appearing right' seems impossibly empty to me, not to mention dull and draining."

That's sounds pretty close to me.

 

[Maverick]

It's valid for all NT's. We don't need as much emotional validation and relationships... at the great demise of more sensitive types.

I would regularly contact her to ask how she was, but she just ignored my enquiries and asked me what I was doing. She'd get annoyed if I didn't contact her at least twice a week, but it seemed all there was for me to say was an empty 'how are you?' which I knew wouldn't be answered, and then provide her with more distraction material.

But y'know, because I'm not completely vain and shallow, and don't just want to talk about myself all the time, there's only so long I can be interested in a person who just sits there doe-eyed in amazement... I want some substance back. So I found her boring. And that makes me a bad person, apparently. I still made the effort to keep in touch, but I felt little motivation to do it as often as she wanted me to, so she was constantly paranoid that I was going to cut her dead, despite my sincere reassurances. Then she ended up cutting me dead ("let's part while we're still on good terms" she said), because IHO, it was unbearable to have to go for two weeks without an e-mail at a freakishly busy time of my life. So sorry dear, I'm busy burying my father, sorry I haven't had time to write your Fascinating Facts journal...

Some people's fear of rejection destroys their relationships. They place excessive and unreasonable demands on others out of insecurity, then threaten to cut-off the relationship if their needs are not met... calling you a bastard/bitch in the process. When they realize you don't care, they continue to suffer in silence hoping that you'll come back to them but never daring to tell you directly.

I've always avoided getting close with emotionally needy people because I never wanted to be trapped in those kind of situations. I'm also wary of people who admire me or put me on a pedestal.

 

[armstrongvk12]

I've known more NTP narcissists than I can shake a stick at. And further, I've had friends of other types admit the same NTP nastiness to them that the INFP spoke of...

I just saw these comment (apparently I need to keep my glasses on while reading!) My experience with male INTPs involved this same nastiness...and he wasn't even discriminating with his own children....whom he would demean! Come to find out after the fact...that he was diagnosed by a psych working for the state of Nevada as a narcissist. Eek! If I had only known.

 

[miked277]

I've known more NTP narcissists than I can shake a stick at. And further, I've had friends of other types admit the same NTP nastiness to them that the INFP spoke of (including my own ENFP sister who's just as smart or more so than the dismissive little anklebiter who turned on her).

Then again, that "bored" hostage-taking NTP behavior is so off balance and deserving of a kick to the head that I've seen other NTPs stand clear of it or offer to shake the offender until their teeth rattled.

[This isn't a sweeping condemnation of NTPs, nor is it an invitation to turn this thread into a NFJ-NTP bash-fest. Just responding to the OP.]

i recognize this behavior in myself at times. as i get older i do it less and less, and when i do show it a little i immediatly afterwards feel like a big jerk. as far as apologizing, well i'm still working on that part :rolli:

i think it's when i'm really stressed or annoyed w/ a given situation that i become a really nasty bastard. usually i'm really understanding and laid back. anyways, i'll report back in a few years of any progress i've made

 

[Athenian200]

What exactly do they mean by "narcissism"? It just seems to me like they play mind games with people to entertain themselves while failing to consider how it makes the other people feel. What does that have to do with narcissism? I always thought that was someone who like to gaze at themselves in the mirror and appreciate their own beauty.

But I do think it's not a very nice way to be, to just trick people into thinking they're cared about for the sake of extracting information from and analyzing them. It's okay to research subjects in an experiment where they know that's what could happen to them before they enter the situation, but it's not okay to do that to people on a personal level in my opinion.

 

[miked277]

What exactly do they mean by "narcissism"?

w/ regard to ntp's i read "narcissism" as either "self-aggrandizement" or "selfishness" however inaccurate those interpretations may be. not sure how other's view it but, that's my 2c.

 

[armstrongvk12]

What exactly do they mean by "narcissism"?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is actually a real diagnosis..not just loving yourself. For sake of time and ease...this is the definition according to Wikipedia: "Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is defined as a mental illness primarily characterized by extreme focus on oneself, and is a maladaptive, rigid, and persistent condition that may cause significant distress and functional impairment." It is more common in men, and unfortunately not really treatable or curable.

I don't if the other posters were using the phrase loosely, but my former INTP boyfriend was diagnosed by a psychologist working for the state of Nevada for a custody hearing.