[ENFP] ENFP--Muckraker or Peacemaker?

[Wonkavision]

Am I a muckraker or a peacemaker?

(Wikipedia--"Muckraker" ---> Muckraker - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia )

Do I have to choose, or can I be both?

I'm an ENFP and I have some muckraking tendencies, which really conflict with my desire to get along with everybody.

I generally avoid conflict and mind my own business, but every once in a while I feel very strongly that some things need to change, and I speak out.

This gets me into a lot of trouble (especially at work) and leaves me tired and frustrated.

First of all I would imagine this is pretty common for other ENFPs but I don't want to assume it is.

So---I've got 2 questions for you fellow ENFPs:

1. Do you have a desire to expose corruption and uphold fairness and equality which conflicts with a desire to get along with everybody?

2. If you can relate to this, do you have any advice for how to deal with it?


P.S.--- I really would prefer advice from ENFPs on this one, but if anyone else wants to throw their two cents in, please be respectful.

Thanks.

 

[Tiny Army]

I'm an ENFP 7 who has quit many a job on principle. I deal with it by, well... I guess I don't deal with it. There's nothing wrong with being a champion! Just roll with it!

 

[alexx]

If I feel something is unjust - I will raise holy hell. I HATE conflict and will avoid it at all costs, even if it means I get walked on - however that is the thing I cannot tolerate. Someone doing something unfair (or what I see as unfair) will piss me off faster and more than anything else.

 

[Nonsensical]

If I feel something is unjust - I will raise holy hell. I HATE conflict and will avoid it at all costs, even if it means I get walked on - however that is the thing I cannot tolerate. Someone doing something unfair (or what I see as unfair) will piss me off faster and more than anything else.

I agree totally, and I'm not one to carry out any mass movement, as I have poor leadership and organizational skills, but when I find some underlying secret about something that I know is totally wack, I'll take action. I don't know how to word that correctly, but I hope you know what I mean.

 

[alexx]

I agree totally, and I'm not one to carry out any mass movement, as I have poor leadership and organizational skills, but when I find some underlying secret about something that I know is totally wack, I'll take action. I don't know how to word that correctly, but I hope you know what I mean.

I feel ya.

 

[Xellotath]

I alternate between both. Which makes it look like I have multiple personality disorder.
But you can bet that there's always an ideal behind either tactic.

One of the major criticisms I get is trying to emotionally manipulate others into siding with me against my opponents.

I'm quite good at demonizing the enemy.

It's one of things I try to work on online. Fight my own wars, completely on my own.

It's rather scary...

 

[Anja]

If I had to choose, I'd choose speaking my truth. I don't believe a true peace can exist when people are being deceived. That kind of "peace" is phony. So I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.

 

[LunaIndigo]

Oh yes definitely. When I hear something that I just completely do not agree with, things will just fly out of my mouth before I can stop it. On one hand I'm glad I said it and feel better, but on the other hand I'm scared of the consequences of what I've just said. I get paranoid after I blurt out something like that, like whoever I said it to aren't going to like me anymore or something.

Don'tcha love ENFP neediness?

 

[CzeCze]

Am I a muckraker or a peacemaker?

Depends on who's asking.

1. Do you have a desire to expose corruption and uphold fairness and equality which conflicts with a desire to get along with everybody?

Yeah, it seems to not make sense but a humanitarian desire and investment in society and community also means that you have to break from popular sentiment and tradition sometimes.

Idealists care about that - ideals - and not so much about getting along for the sake of getting along. Well, at least me. Though I do very much like getting along.

It's really damnable because that Fi makes us want to do things that otherwise run counter to our Fe(?) just general sensitive selves? Why call all this hostility and resistance and 'negative' attention to ourselves and to things?

But then, I don't think I have as much trouble with confrontation (counterphobic, I'm a counterphobic wing 6 dammit!!! LOL) as other ENFPs. I have been called confrontational (which I disagree with) or just really blunt a few times before but for the most part it's just that I think the truth is a beautiful and powerful thing and I prefer to be truthful. (Except when it comes to personal disclosure, then I can get paranoid and super stealth)

I care about my ideals and values deeply and I always have. I've always been a strangely sensitive and political gal and then I turned into a pretty radical mouthy adult. To sacrifice your ideals and your ethics for personal comfort or gain...that concept is really abhorrent to me. I don't want to be that person. I also naturally tend to talk a lot in general and I don't like being left out of the mix.

2. If you can relate to this, do you have any advice for how to deal with it?

The way you deal with this is the way any ENFP really grows up - you just have to buck up and dig your heels in and do it. No complaints, no whining, focus on the task at hand, and put everything you have into it.

First though, you have to do a lot of intrapersonal work, soul searching, figuring out what is important to you and your real motivations and reasons for doing things -- and then you stand up for it. You also have to really develop your Te/Ti and general organizing or strategic skills. You need to learn to focus on what it is you want to achieve and be practical and smart about things. You also have to cultivate maturity and accountability for your words and actions.

You don't want to be the 'crazy man' or 'crazy woman' crying wolf or getting histrionic about beef or brow beating people about recycling. Your point is getting your message across, the bill signed, a real change.

You don't want to be a sensationalist or do things purely to get attention. Then you're just being a muck-raker or an attention whore and actually acting counter to your stated mission or values. There are a lot of people making ruckus about a cause who turn more into their own celebrity than work for real change. Ideals are not vehicles for popularity or tv time.

On a personal note, once you get used to the hostility, pushback, loneliness, etc. etc. all the things that can accompany sticking your neck out for what you believe - it gets easier and easier.

There are lots of ways that you can contribute to your cause - whether it's with words, organizing, fundraising, lawmaking, etc. There are (slightly) different skill sets involved with each method, so even if you don't think you are a good organizer, you can learn, or you can contribute in another role.

I guess this applies more on a general social justice front, but yeah, about standing up for what you believe in general.

The good thing with ENFPs is apparently we are blessed with either the gift of gab, social skills, and/or enthusiasm. These come in handy! (Oh yeah, and optimism!)

 

[Anja]

^Now that's an awesome post.

A turning point for me was when a woman said to me, "You just don't have to go to every war you're invited to, Anja." I like that one. Saves energy.

 

[wolfy]

Am I a muckraker or a peacemaker?

You are a muckraker and peacemaker. No?

 

[Moiety]

I'm both.

And the way I cope with it is....I don't. Don't need to. I only make war when I need to, and I only make peace when I need to.

 

[wolfy]

I'm both.

And the way I cope with it is....I don't. Don't need to. I only make war when I need to, and I only make peace when I need to.

Ever make war to make peace or make peace to make war?

 

[Moiety]

Ever make war to make peace or make peace to make war?

Never. Only if it's "making war with myself" to make peace with others, or "making peace with myself" to make war with others. If that makes any sense.

Unless it's something less serious. I'm also a rabble-rouser.

 

[Lady_X]

i haven't read the responses yet but my inclination is to believe they are one in the same. you desire peace and fair and equal treatment for all. so in order for everyone to feel peaceful...everyone to feel heard and valued sometimes you have to put someone in their place and let them know they have no greater right then the other person...but the goal, in my opinion is to bring everyone together, to make peace...not to be confrontational...not to belittle...just to adjust their perception to what you feel is "right".

does that make sense? i haven't yet had my coffee. haha

 

[alexx]

i haven't read the responses yet but my inclination is to believe they are one in the same. you desire peace and fair and equal treatment for all. so in order for everyone to feel peaceful...everyone to feel heard and valued sometimes you have to put someone in their place and let them no they have no greater right then the other person...but the goal, in my opinion is to bring everyone together, to make peace...not to be confrontational...not to belittle...just to adjust their perception to what you feel is "right".

does that make sense? i haven't yet had my coffee. haha

Perfect sense to me!

 

[Wonkavision]

OK.

Yeah, these are all great comments.

Thank you very much everyone.

 

[Lady_X]

haha...that's it? that's all ya got to say about that, huh.

 

[Wonkavision]

haha...that's it? that's all ya got to say about that, huh.

Heh heh.....you know I'm withholding dont ya, ya crazy Dominant INTUITIVE!

 

[Lady_X]

yes i do...come on...not quite comfortable yet?
we're all nuts here...you're in good company...out with it.