From the other perspective...
Last month I started dating an INFP, and while it might not be said of all infp-estp pairings, it hasn't been a great match. He tries to do so many thoughtful things for me... every time I mention I like doing something, he invites me to do it. As a result, ALL of our dates have been places I like to go, even though I'm not the one suggesting it or even trying to plant the idea.
It can come out really badly sometimes - I mentioned that I liked fairs, so he invited me to the state fair. Nice, right? Only he hates rides, something I don't really understand until we get on the tilt-a-whirl together and I spend the whole ride telling him to breathe and trying to keep him from being sick. On one level, I know it was sweet of him to try, but on another level... gimmie a break, it was a tilt-a-whirl!
It's not just that. Last week, he took off work several hours early to cook dinner for me - the exact meal I had said I wanted. Again, I know I make him sound like a dream guy, but it isn't that easy.
I do generally try to follow the guidelines of social acceptability, so - as a woman - I try to curb my behavior to be more in line with his. When he's sick on the ride, I become comforting (even though I'm not feeling particularly empathetic). I tell him how delicious the meal he cooked is, even though romantic dinners just aren't my thing. I become completely passive about what I want to do, constantly deferring: Let's do something you want to do next week... even though I'm much more comfortable offering an opinion than soliciting others. I tell myself before each date that I'm going to be myself and either he still likes me or he doesn't. But each time, I wind up subconsciously matching the mood of the moment until I get home and wonder who the hell I was with him.
As a result, while I know this guy likes me, I don't think he really knows me. I soften my jokes, rein in my opinions, and try to say comforting, sensitive, encouraging things. On top of that, it's made me resentful of him. I know consciously that it isn't his fault, but part of me just thinks that if he could toughen up a bit, I could be myself. As is, this relationship is going nowhere, and I'm apparently going to prove to him that nice guys, do indeed, finish last.
Sorry for the long story. Just wanted to give a little glimpse of how it's not always so easy to be on the other side of these relationships either.