[INFJ] INFJ posers? Really?

[weakshadeofblue]

So, browsing around certain threads in this forum, I've seen the mention of "mistyped INFJs" or "fake INFJs" more than once. It seems like word on the streets is that lots of INFJs aren't -actually- INFJs, but possibly just were unable to objectively type themselves (do I have that right?). Or something.

My questions are, then:
1. What sort of characteristics do you look for in INFJs (in these forums, or in real life) that are pretty much -crucial- to being an INFJ? Are there any characteristics like this?

2. What sort of characteristics (or lack thereof) are generally, or possibly even absolutely, NOT INFJ characteristics - thus alerting you to a possible mistype?

I'm interested because I've seen the term around and I was curious as to why some of you thought this. I don't mean to start anything bad by asking this

 

[BlackCat]

It's in the nature of Ni to see things from multiple viewpoints, this could be in anything. A dispute, a way to tackle an issue at a job, etc. On here I've seen some INFJs (not really INTJs surprisingly) that are probably ISFJs, because of this lack of viewing things from other viewpoints when in disputes. That's where it shows through the most for me. Or you will have these people who are obviously an ISFJ (with their tag INFJ) or an ESFJ (tagged ENFJ) just because they are interested in this theory, they are "imaginative," and are capable of making intuitive leaps, and they think that that's what it means to be N.

I haven't really got anything for you for things that *aren't* INFJ characteristics, that's a bit broad for me to answer.

 

[Billy]

I think INFJs are capable of being very diverse in terms of their beliefs. Very much based on life experiences. What I dislike is when people tell an INFJ that they aren't an INFJ unless they believe in something particular. Oh what you are against socialized medicine? Uhh ohhh you're not an INFJ! INFJs want to help people ergo they are into socialism... its ridiculous.

 

[weakshadeofblue]

Those both make sense.
But, Midnight Arbiter, I know for myself that I am very capable of seeing things from a lot of sides. But for me, it's the stress of conflict that (sometimes) makes me go "tunnel visioned." I become jarred by the conflict itself that I just zoom into that one viewpoint.

After I cool off and it's all over, I realize the multiple viewpoints, etc. and usually feel really bad.

That explains it for me, anyways.

Keep coming with the insights! I'm glad I found this board. It's so interesting .

 

[Nonsensical]

Also remember that this is a pretty biased society. INFJs would be, statistically, one of the most likely types to take part in an online Psychology Forum. So if you're questioning the insane amount of INFJs we have here, then don't really.

But as for those who are mistyped, I totally agree. People like to live up to images they contrive of themselves. It's all about feeding your ego. This really is narcissistic paradise for many.

 

[scortia]

I think one of the biggest things an INFJ has to have is a strong desire to make a difference or to be true to themselves/follow their "path" as they intuit it. These are definitely necessary for someone to be an INFJ imho.

 

[Mad Hatter]

I think one of the biggest things an INFJ has to have is a strong desire to make a difference or to be true to themselves/follow their "path" as they intuit it. These are definitely necessary for someone to be an INFJ imho.

Same applies for the INFP. I must admit that I don't know a single person I would call an INFJ, but then again, I probably wouldn't recognize it if I saw one IRL

 

[weakshadeofblue]

INFJs would be, statistically, one of the most likely types to take part in an online Psychology Forum. So if you're questioning the insane amount of INFJs we have here, then don't really.

Haha, I'm not questioning that. That has occurred to me before .

Part of the reason I ask is because a girl I know typed herself as an INFJ via the Facebook MyType application. In some ways it makes sense... but I REALLY thought she was more of an ISFJ. She doesn't seem open like most INFJs (not to say that ISFJs aren't open - no offense to ISFJs), and seems very tunnel-visioned as far as the world goes. But I could be wrong.

I think one of the biggest things an INFJ has to have is a strong desire to make a difference or to be true to themselves/follow their "path" as they intuit it. These are definitely necessary for someone to be an INFJ imho.

I think that makes sense too, as well as the constant need for personal growth and feeling that you're never living up to your potential (this is my experience, anyway).

Same applies for the INFP.

My mom's an INFP and she definitely possesses this feeling. She and I connect so well on that level. It's really nice to share that with someone.

 

[paperoceans]

 

[firstjudge]

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if other mistypes themselves. We cannot judge who really holds particular type preferences because only the individual him or herself can make that assessment. People are also not just their psychological types, and the complexities that lie within all of us is a mystery in spite of our more perceptible similarities. In my day to day life, I don't like to go around typing everyone, and if someone claims to have specific mbti preferences, then I won't try to retype them either if they don't fit my understanding of their type. What you see on the surface is not always the whole truth--particularly with INFJs.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

I know for myself that I am very capable of seeing things from a lot of sides. But for me, it's the stress of conflict that (sometimes) makes me go "tunnel visioned." I become jarred by the conflict itself that I just zoom into that one viewpoint.

After I cool off and it's all over, I realize the multiple viewpoints, etc. and usually feel really bad.

This is very much like something I’ve noticed about myself. I am excellent at dissecting conflict and seeing it from several different angle unless I am directly involved in that conflict. When I’m directly involved, I have an extraordinarily difficult time shedding the perspective I had when the conflict started.

I avoid getting into conflict- myself- like the plague because of this. Yet I don't avoid conflict at all if it doesn't involve me. I’m too eager to jump in, trying to help resolve conflict going on around me.

Part of the reason I ask is because a girl I know typed herself as an INFJ via the Facebook MyType application. In some ways it makes sense... but I REALLY thought she was more of an ISFJ. She doesn't seem open like most INFJs (not to say that ISFJs aren't open - no offense to ISFJs), and seems very tunnel-visioned as far as the world goes. But I could be wrong.

There have definitely been a few times when someone I know claims to be INFJ, and a series of silent alarms go off in my head because I have a hard time digesting it. I know *logically* that it shouldn’t bother me, for more reasons than I want to list, yet I can’t quite let it go the way I feel I *should* be able to.

Example: one friend I’ve had for close to twenty years claims to be INFJ. She’s got an explosive temper. She misunderstands things that I say constantly, taking things as personal criticism that actually have nothing to do with her. She acts and says things before thinking all the time. She has almost the worst tunnel vision of anyone I’ve ever been friends with. She’s certainly the most judgmental. On the surface, she definitely doesn’t appear INFJ.

Yet the more I learn about Ni, I’ve come to realize that many of the qualities I didn’t consider ‘INFJ characteristics’ per se were very likely a result of a super sensitive Ni. I think my friend is just an example of what happens when Ni spins out of control, starts behaving like Cornholeo (from Beavis & Butthead) and stages a coup over the other functions.

Ultimately, I suspect that the first step is figuring out if I don’t think the person is INFJ because I don’t like certain aspects about the person and feel threatened by the notion he/she could be the same type as me. I’ve done this. It can definitely cloud judgment. There are a few people I’ve come across- a couple in real life- that just don’t embody the qualities I typically associate with INFJ (a clear sense of empathy that I can relate to, the tendency to deconstruct conflict rather than systematically contribute to it, etc). Yet once I can turn the assessment into something I want to understand- rather than wanting to disprove- I can begin to spot how it might possibly be true.

Mostly I look for Ni. And it gets tricky, because it doesn’t look exactly the same in everyone who is Ni dominant. The best I’ve come up with personally is that Ni tends to make most of the INFJs I know question, “why?” about their own behavior/opinions and the behavior/opinions of others to the extent that it’s actually often inconvenient for the people around them at one point or another. *hoping that last statement made sense*

 

[MrRandom]

I once saw a terribly written post by an INFJ. My first thought was that the person has got to be mistyped. I think this is the only time I've questioned someone being an INFJ.

Actually, here's a rule of thumb: If there's even a single typo in an INFJ's post, s/he's not an INFJ at all!
No pressure guys!

 

[PoprocksAndCoke]

This is very much like something I’ve noticed about myself. I am excellent at dissecting conflict and seeing it from several different angle unless I am directly involved in that conflict. When I’m directly involved, I have an extraordinarily difficult time shedding the perspective I had when the conflict started.

I avoid getting into conflict- myself- like the plague because of this. Yet I don't avoid conflict at all if it doesn't involve me. I’m too eager to jump in, trying to help resolve conflict going on around me.



There have definitely been a few times when someone I know claims to be INFJ, and a series of silent alarms go off in my head because I have a hard time digesting it. I know *logically* that it shouldn’t bother me, for more reasons than I want to list, yet I can’t quite let it go the way I feel I *should* be able to.

Example: one friend I’ve had for close to twenty years claims to be INFJ. She’s got an explosive temper. She misunderstands things that I say constantly, taking things as personal criticism that actually have nothing to do with her. She acts and says things before thinking all the time. She has almost the worst tunnel vision of anyone I’ve ever been friends with. She’s certainly the most judgmental. On the surface, she definitely doesn’t appear INFJ.

Yet the more I learn about Ni, I’ve come to realize that many of the qualities I didn’t consider ‘INFJ characteristics’ per se were very likely a result of a super sensitive Ni. I think my friend is just an example of what happens when Ni spins out of control, starts behaving like Cornholeo (from Beavis & Butthead) and stages a coup over the other functions.

Ultimately, I suspect that the first step is figuring out if I don’t think the person is INFJ because I don’t like certain aspects about the person and feel threatened by the notion he/she could be the same type as me. I’ve done this. It can definitely cloud judgment. There are a few people I’ve come across- a couple in real life- that just don’t embody the qualities I typically associate with INFJ (a clear sense of empathy that I can relate to, the tendency to deconstruct conflict rather than systematically contribute to it, etc). Yet once I can turn the assessment into something I want to understand- rather than wanting to disprove- I can begin to spot how it might possibly be true.

Mostly I look for Ni. And it gets tricky, because it doesn’t look exactly the same in everyone who is Ni dominant. The best I’ve come up with personally is that Ni tends to make most of the INFJs I know question, “why?” about their own behavior/opinions and the behavior/opinions of others to the extent that it’s actually often inconvenient for the people around them at one point or another. *hoping that last statement made sense*

You just made me maybe twenty times more sure of my type.

 

[BlackCat]

I find it very interesting that INFJs feel the need to constantly make threads about their own type. It couldn't be "People who have their self typing wrong," it has to be "INFJs who aren't INFJs." Tons of these threads made solely for INFJs could just as easily be made for every other type, and all of the INFJs could bombard that thread with entries about INFJs, and everyone would be included.

And I also don't understand why people strive to understand INFJs so much. It's not like you're really going to meet a lot of them, since they make up roughly 0.5% of the world. I don't understand why there aren't a lot of ESFJ or ESTP threads, since they are among the most common people out there. Shouldn't you be more concerned with understanding them?

 

[PoprocksAndCoke]

^I, for one, do not feel any need to make any thread about my own type. People from all types do this. It's not an INFJ trait at all. Have you seen:

You Know You're An XXXX When


I could say that I find it interesting that ISFPs stereotype. That's a generalization. It's implying all ISFPs do the same thing as one member of TypoC. People from all types stereotype.

 

[BlackCat]

^I, for one, do not feel any need to make any thread about my own type. People from all types do this. It's not an INFJ trait at all. Have you seen:

You Know You're An XXXX When


I could say that I find it interesting that ISFPs stereotype. That's a generalization. It's implying all ISFPs do the same thing as one member of TypoC. People from all types stereotype.

Have you seen the ridiculous amount of INFJ threads that are pretty pointless, or that could be easily a broad question for all of the types? You haven't been here for very long though, so I guess you wouldn't have seen them.

 

[tibby]

And I also don't understand why people strive to understand INFJs so much.

Hm, well, why not? To me as long as it's not harming anyone it's pretty much whatever. There have been a lot of silly threads about infjs sure but I mean no one has to subscribe to them if they don't want to, if they find them irrelevant. I just don't see what the big deal is. There are a lot of silly threads about a lot of silly stuff but why bother be annoyed?

I think for many INFJs forums like these are just an opportunity to possibly relate to people similar to them, an experience they probably haven't had too often.

 

[BlackCat]

Hm, well, why not? To me as long as it's not harming anyone it's pretty much whatever. There have been a lot of silly threads about infjs sure but I mean no one has to subscribe to them if they don't want to, if they find them irrelevant. I just don't see what the big deal is. There are a lot of silly threads about a lot of silly stuff but why bother be annoyed?

I think for many INFJs forums like these are just an opportunity to possibly relate to people similar to them, an experience they probably haven't had too often.

I just see the potential for understanding all of the other 15 types, versus just one. That's why I get annoyed. And the silly ones are just pretty pointless, but people take them pretty seriously all the same it seems.

Eh. Just ignore my inflammatory tone. I just want people to make more threads about the types at large, versus just one.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I don't think questioning other people's types are limited to INFJ, although perhaps that is a popular current one to question. People have various criterion for determining other people's types. Some might base it on their belief's or communication style. There is a widely accepted idea that more abrasive communication styles are associated with being T especially if the idea takes precedence over the emotions of the other posters or other people affected by the "idea".

IMO MBTI does not entirely map to reality, but in as far as it does, it makes sense to expect that a chosen type would line up with the descriptions somewhat. I haven't ever challenged someone's type even if I'm not particularly convinced of it, because in the end people might as well just pick whichever they prefer to identify with. As far as what an INFJ is, there is a pretty wide range that includes some noticeable subcategories from what I've seen. The basic ideas I think of from what I've read is that they are abstract, future thinkers. They tend to be aware of the emotional climate of their environments and are described as being intuitive in responding to people, and at times rather private. They tend to focus on growth in themselves and others. They are also described as complex and have a rich inner world.

Some traits that seem unlike INFJs to me include a strong focus on external image and power that are tangible and concrete. Who knows, maybe some do that, but it does seem to be the opposite of the abstract style of thinking that focuses on Feeling concerns which are by nature more abstract than linear logic, instead requiring their own fuzzy logic. Edit: Also, the more extreme NF style of thinking that uses empathy tends to be able to see from inside a perspective different from their own experience. This can imply less reliance on personal experience for directly forming opinions about how the world works. The more literal linear style of interpreting posts and ideas also seems like a more non-NF type typically. There are of courses exceptions to every nuance of these sorts of things.

 

[tibby]

I just see the potential for understanding all of the other 15 types, versus just one. That's why I get annoyed. And the silly ones are just pretty pointless, but people take them pretty seriously all the same it seems.

Eh. Just ignore my inflammatory tone. I just want people to make more threads about the types at large, versus just one.

Well, I think that's a good point and would also be refreshing.