Needing to feel special

[Pionart]

So, I guess I have the need to feel like I am a special person
It leads to schizophrenic thinking and behaviour, and general dissatisfaction
Like, thinking I'll be able to do something great if I just figure things out a bit better
Being just a normal person like everyone else scares me
I rationalise it by saying I'm not a normal person, so I can't be satisfied thinking and acting like I am
Really, this just seems like delusion
Wanting to make a difference, and a big one, not just a small one
It's unlikely that this is ever going to happen
But if I'm just normal, then it's like nothing means much
Sure, it means a bit, but it's not enough
I'm not sure why I'm like this*
I know I fight against the thought of being normal though
I don't want it to be true
I am saying the same thing over and over now it seems
I will regret this post in the morning
I don't even know why I am making it

* it could just be that it's normal...