Why are Americans so FAKE?

[Mole]

C'mon, Americans are not so fake, they are both fake and sincere because phoney and sincere are the two sides of the same coin in America.

Different cultures make different distinctions. For while Americans make the distinction between phoney and sincere, we make the same distinction between amusing and boring. Both distinctions, American and Australian, are examples of the meta-distinction between good and bad.

And remember we live our distinctions, and almost always unconsciously. So Americans want to be good by being sincere but are tempted to be bad by being phoney. And we are good by being amusing and bad by being boring.

And Americans, so we are told, once they can fake sincerity, have it made. And if the truth be told, once we can fake being boring in Australia, we are seen as no threat to anyone.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Perhaps you should strongly consider leaving America for a more real environment. Church communities are the only trusting places? That's hilarious.

That was sarcasm lol... The devil loves the church

 

[OptoGypsy]

He was seen as a monster because he did not defend himself or offer any reasoning for the murder he committed. He was a blank slate and he got no mercy from others for it. In the end, his death was empty to him as well and he gained no insight from it all. Absurdism.




Don't get too caught up in the existential bullshit and please don't read Catcher In The Rye, until you've gotten a handle on basic social niceties. You might find your Bible and your religion in one and that has a history of not working out.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes when someone asks you how you are, you say 'doing great' and you move along even if you aren't. Not everyone has to or wants to go deeper. The US isn't Russia. So, there are different norms.

If you want to have deeper connection with people, you will have to be patient and build trust with others. This means going through some tedious motions.

Adapt.

This I agree with this, [MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION] accurately sized me up. He was seen as a monster for the way he acted at the epoch of his mothers death. He is a hero of the absurd that truly understood the absurdity of life. Dying a martyr in the name of absurdism. It isn't that he didn't defend himself, it is that others didn't understand him because of societal norms. This is a story of a confused lion amongst sheep. HE IS THE JESUS CHRIST FOR THE YOUNG GANGSTER

 

[OptoGypsy]

I can't speak for the entire country but my community is polite but not friendly. I can be polite without being familiar. Being courteous and well-mannered is very much so a 'stay in your lane' technique. It's seen as formal, distant, non-familiar. We understand that "how are you" does not mean "I trust you".

What's the point of saying it then? In fact it comes off as incredibly rude and not polite...

 

[OptoGypsy]

[MENTION=20474]OptoGypsy[/MENTION] I think you are a mistyped sx/so ESTP mistaking your focus on the inauthenticity of cultural greetings as Fe. If you were really an Ni/Fe user you would have a more laser-like ability to see through frivolity and semantics and detect the emotional sentiment underlying American customs, or at least the inherent mentality in which emotions and trust are distributed throughout the greater social sphere. I don't usually like to be so straightforward with my accusations of mistyping but it seems you may be one of the few to actually appreciate it.

I see the emotional sentiment, and the way the emotions and trust are distributed throughout the greater social sphere and i'm saying that it is half balked and malfunctioning. I may be one weird ESTP though... that is constantly zoning out from social situations and going into his trusted haven of thought... I also occasionaly misplace objects and can't find them later such as wallet, keys, phone. If this sounds like ESTP then I'll take the title.

 

[Also]

What's the point of saying it then? In fact it comes off as incredibly rude and not polite...

Whether it's rude or not is up for debate. I may think it's rude and ignorant to use one culture as an objective measurement for every other way of life.

The point is dependent on the situation. Like I said before, it's a formal way to get around. Acknowledging someone's existence has its advantages, especially in the workplace.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Whether it's rude or not is up for debate. I may think it's rude and ignorant to use one culture as an objective measurement for every other way of life.

The point is dependent on the situation. Like I said before, it's a formal way to get around. Acknowledging someone's existence has its advantages, especially in the workplace.

I simply gave Russia as an example, I was born in the USA. Invite them to drink alcohol or smoke weed and have a deep conversation with them, just don't fake being nice to them if you don't give two shits for their existence. The workplace is a joke, STEM is the way to go to ignore stupid shit.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Just to make something clear, I'm not saying not to be friendly. It is better to live a life of love and understand than one of bitterness. Just don't stop at the superficial level or you will appear to be a fake.

 

[Also]

I simply gave Russia as an example, I was born in the USA. Invite them to drink alcohol or smoke weed and have a deep conversation with them, just don't fake being nice to them if you don't give two shits for their existence. The workplace is a joke, STEM is the way to go to ignore stupid shit.

I work in a lab, where the social game is as strong as ever.

Oy, I don't think you're promoting hostility. I just don't care if people think that I'm being fake by saying hi to them. It sounds like an issue of boundaries at the very least. If I'm expected to go out and get high and fuck around with you just to earn the right to ask how you are, then I would say that issue lies with the person who expects every interaction to be deeper than the pacific ocean.

 

[EcK]

I simply gave Russia as an example, I was born in the USA. Invite them to drink alcohol or smoke weed and have a deep conversation with them, just don't fake being nice to them if you don't give two shits for their existence. The workplace is a joke, STEM is the way to go to ignore stupid shit.

How were you born in the us if you sounds like a second-language English speaker

 

[Red Herring]

I once heard that politeness was not about the appearance of respect but about respect for appearance. I like that thought.

 

[Kullervo]

My experience of Americans is clearly quite different to how Americans see themselves.

I have found them to be quite forthright and direct, which appeals to me. The kind of vapid, stifling social-isms you are talking about verge on pathological in some other parts of the world.

 

[Cellmold]

Oddly I've found most American's to be quite earnest and straightforward.

Those who weren't were of the more WASPish persuasion, although not exclusively.

 

[OptoGypsy]

How were you born in the us if you sounds like a second-language English speaker

I was raised in a Ukrainian/Russian community, and grew up speaking with the other Slavic children. I'm a second-language English speaker lol. I don't bother with dandyism when it comes to forums.

 

[EcK]

I was raised in a Ukrainian/Russian community, and grew up speaking with the other Slavic children. I'm a second-language English speaker lol. I don't bother with dandyism when it comes to forums.

Fair enough. I'm of polish descent myself (direct).

 

[Coriolis]

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes when someone asks you how you are, you say 'doing great' and you move along even if you aren't. Not everyone has to or wants to go deeper. The US isn't Russia. So, there are different norms.

If you want to have deeper connection with people, you will have to be patient and build trust with others. This means going through some tedious motions.

Or being more selective about whom you approach. A sure way never to gain my trust is to expect me to play stupid social games and jump through those sorts of hoops. No thanks.

I do agree that Catcher in the Rye is worthless, though.

The point is dependent on the situation. Like I said before, it's a formal way to get around. Acknowledging someone's existence has its advantages, especially in the workplace.

Sure, but I acknowledge people's existence by saying "good morning". I don't ask "how are you" unless I really want to know, and I consider it unrealistic to expect anything approaching a meaningful answer from people I don't already know well.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Why are Americans so fake? Fake Smiles, fake greetings, etc? "How are you" without meaning that shit, small talk is bullshit and a way to either wast time. They think they're being courteous with one another when in reality they are RUDE AS FUCK.

Why do you interpret being polite as rude as fuck?

People should be honest with another, and instead of pretending to care, show what is within themselves. why is such a small percentage real? Don't say because it's herd mentality and a fucking problem with self, e.g Russia is nothing like this. With Russians it's rude to be friendly with others because you don't know them giving them a perception of self preservation so they won't have to stab the person at a later date, no one asks "how are you" unless they know you, and it isn't a joke question but something to be taken seriously. This attitude creates a people that are loyal to one another.

I think its kind of silly to expect it to be obligatory that everyone you meet/see immediately spill their guts to you. That would get annoying as hell. It's also naïve to place such unearned trust in strangers. My method about these things is to treat new people for the first time as nice as possible and then reciprocate however they treat me from that point on.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

I was raised in a Ukrainian/Russian community, and grew up speaking with the other Slavic children. I'm a second-language English speaker lol. I don't bother with dandyism when it comes to forums.

I was raised in a Slavic family too though where we come from isn't as cynical as the Russians. The culture I was raised in is much more personal in interactions compared to the American detachedness. Everyone knows your business and there is an 'open door' policy with friends and family visiting, they don't even call. I think that's because Slavs were originally tribal societies ( see zadruge) which heavy emphasis on communal activity. Add that to the fact that smaller populated countries with only a few million compared to a 100 million + Russia which is very ethnically diverse, smaller countries of relative ethno-homogeneity tend to establish trust between people much more freely.

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Fair enough. I'm of polish descent myself (direct).

You speak Polish? We ENTPs have a knack for picking up languages.

 

[EcK]

I was raised in a Slavic family too though where we come from isn't as cynical as the Russians. The culture I was raised in is much more personal in interactions compared to the American detachedness. Everyone knows your business and there is an 'open door' policy with friends and family visiting, they don't even call. I think that's because Slavs were originally tribal societies ( see zadruge) which heavy emphasis on communal activity. Add that to the fact that smaller populated countries with only a few million compared to a 100 million + Russia which is very ethnically diverse, smaller countries of relative ethno-homogeneity tend to establish trust between people much more freely.

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You speak Polish? We ENTPs have a knack for picking up languages.

I'm not really a language king or anything. in my opinion. I've met much more talented language-learners.
I speak 3 languages - French, English and Polish

 

[ZNP-TBA]

I'm not really a language king or anything. in my opinion. I've met much more talented language-learners.
I speak 3 languages - French, English and Polish

I only speak two languages but understand some degree of other languages especially of the Indo-European branch since the have the same logical syntax and structure. I've always had a knack for picking up on linguistics though I never mastered any language outside of the language I was raised with and English. I understand spoken Polish much better than written Polish since its kind of hard to read. For example Polish use letters and sounds other Slavic languages lack.