[ISTP] Behaviors of good ISTP boyfriends/husbands?

[mcmartinez84]

Hahahahahaa, an ISTP writing a love letter.



I made the horrible mistake of writing an ISTP a love letter poem when I was 19.

His reaction?



Yeah, mortifying, we live and learn.

I make it a point to tell guys I'm interested in that I hate poetry straight up! I never want to get a love poem ever!!!! One guy thought I was a freak 'cause I didn't like poetry...he also had a lot of feelings. I don't know *what* we were thinking! He didn't understand my general disregard for feelings or anything. Needless to say, that didn't work out! I love it when the guy says he doesn't like poetry either! "Phew! Now he's ok with me and I don't feel like I'm making him suppress his natural emotions or preference for poetry." And even tho I'm upfront about hating poetry, my last ex still wrote stuff for me... I didn't have much to say about it, and I certainly didn't feel compelled to return the words or thoughts or feelings after reading it. Much like ...!

I don't write love letters either. I'll just tell you at some point that I think you're alright.

 

[StephMC]

I make it a point to tell guys I'm interested in that I hate poetry straight up! I never want to get a love poem ever!!!! One guy thought I was a freak 'cause I didn't like poetry...he also had a lot of feelings. I don't know *what* we were thinking! He didn't understand my general disregard for feelings or anything. Needless to say, that didn't work out! I love it when the guy says he doesn't like poetry either! "Phew! Now he's ok with me and I don't feel like I'm making him suppress his natural emotions or preference for poetry." And even tho I'm upfront about hating poetry, my last ex still wrote stuff for me... I didn't have much to say about it, and I certainly didn't feel compelled to return the words or thoughts or feelings after reading it. Much like ...!

I don't write love letters either. I'll just tell you at some point that I think you're alright.

I like poetry. But romantic poetry written to me? That deserves a blank stare. But yeah... I show my affection by punching, rustling hair, and calling you a moron.

 

[Poki]

I can do poetry when its in my heart, but its nothing that is really thought out, its just something that happens. I tend to write it and then step back and play with the words to make it sound better without losing the original meaning. Its something that just happens when I am in certain moments internally. I dont sit down and say "I am gonna write a love poem" I would draw a blank for hours if I did that.

 

[mcmartinez84]

I show my affection by punching, rustling hair, and calling you a moron.

Hahaha! I love it!
(My insult of choice is "jerk.")

 

[Rachelinpa]

i'm an enfp and i'm anti poetry too.

I show my affection by punching, rustling hair, and calling you a moron.

same here. +hugs.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I love poetry. I appreciate good art. Only two people in my life have ever inspired me to write. Both instances I never wrote with any intention of giving or showing it to them. However, I gave this poem to my ESTJ ex years after we ended. We never spoke about it since and that's fine by me. Now that I think of it, that's one reason why I showed him. I knew he wouldn't weird out over it.

Regret is the Softest Shade of Pain

Every effort will end with a sigh,
For we all lie under a comic moon.

Then, throw your kisses.
With the weight of stone instead of time.

See, when all of your reasoning has been reduced
To the thinnest trace of its line

We will still be no closer to a truth
Than when your lips are nearest to mine.


But yeah. Not very ISTP of me. But just goes to show that type doesn't dictate behaviors across the board.

 

[StephMC]

Hahaha! I love it!
(My insult of choice is "jerk.")

Yeah... I might also note that while my "showing affection" implies that I'll call that person a moron, calling someone a moron does not necessarily imply I'm showing affection. They may really just be a moron. But I'm sure everyone here could already guess that.

same here. +hugs.

Only when alcohol is involved. It usually follows as so:
Punch --> Apologize profusely --> Bear hug --> Repeat.

I'm really quite a hazard to be around when I'm drunk and I like you. One time I started setting people up... I would hold up both hands for a high five and once they were going in for the high-five, I decked them in the side. Apparently I did this to complete strangers too. So I take that back... I'm a hazard to be around when drunk, period. But if you don't mind violent affection, then go for it.

I'm digressing, aren't I. Well. I'm not sure how male ISTPs act, but I would imagine it's hard for them to give verbal praise as well. Spending time is key.

 

[Rachelinpa]

I'm really quite a hazard to be around when I'm drunk and I like you. One time I started setting people up... I would hold up both hands for a high five and once they were going in for the high-five, I decked them in the side. Apparently I did this to complete strangers too. So I take that back... I'm a hazard to be around when drunk, period. But if you don't mind violent affection, then go for it.

I'm digressing, aren't I. Well. I'm not sure how male ISTPs act, but I would imagine it's hard for them to give verbal praise as well. Spending time is key.

yeah, i get karate chopped a lot.

 

[Giggly]

Things I love: Romantic poetry, love letters and ISTP's.

I made a relationship with an ISFJ/INFJ work for 4 yrs.. which is a HUGE accomplishment for me! So I'm gonna give this a shot.

In private, I am very close to my girlfriend.. I enjoy lots of space, but I enjoy being close just as much. I like more light hearted convo and serious convo about things outside of us (news, thoughts, debates..)... conversations being too emotionally heavy can be VERY draining for me.. but I stick it through for her when it's needed because she needs that from me sometimes.

I enjoy relaxing and hanging out at home with her more than anything. I tell her I love her on a daily basis because I know that she likes to know that and she gets upset when I don't.. and I don't want to have to get the "you don't care no more" talk. I've learned to bend for her because I love her, in turn she tries to not be too emotional with me and gives me my freedom to do things outside of us.

In public.. around other people.. I become very quiet.. I don't usually have much to say to people I don't know very well. I let her go on and do her own thing I prefer to stay in one area and kind of blend into the background.. she thinks I get cold or upset because I don't like to get in there with her and talk a whole lot with her in front of people.
I just enjoy being in my own space with my own thoughts, if someone talks to me I will be more than happy to try to keep up a conversation.. but that's my idea of enjoying it.

This is actually desirable behavior in a boyfriend for me and why I love ISTPs.

 

[ViCyniC]

I'm digressing, aren't I. Well. I'm not sure how male ISTPs act, but I would imagine it's hard for them to give verbal praise as well. Spending time is key.

It's one of the hardest thing for me to do. Accepting praise, also...to the point where I ridicule their praise of me, and often offend them in the process.

 

[sugar101]

i have to say, i got really interested in mbti personality types towards the end of last year and have read nearly all forums involving istp especially. so basically, id love to ask questions and speak with any active member.

but what's eating my mind even more is; where are you guys now? how's life been so far? did it work out? - the rollercoaster relationship some of you were trying hopefully to build with the myserious handsome istp round the corner, or to the brave eccentric female who'd caught your eye in the club? did you get married? have kids? have some of your goals in life come through, or you gave up on them and buried them under a dirty old mound of dirt.

it's been nearly a decade- do you even remember this tiny little rusty corner of the web? the one you used to visit on the regular after a crappy day at work or a horrid date - even an exciting experience - to inquire and learn little nooks and fit some jigsaw puzzle in the somewhat magical structure that is life and love. back from the good ol' days when we were all trying to figure ourselves out?

It's kinda creepy and sad to accept the fact that some of you are no longer with us, but your observations and teachings live on; though you didn't know it would benefit some random girl many years later.

so to whoever's out there, hey. take a deep breath if you're still alive and smile. hopefully life hasn't been too harsh on you. and if it has, well, that's life. i bet you still have something to smile about.

you're well, you're here. in the moment, in the now.

So smile.

 

[mcmartinez84]

Hi there, sugar101!
It's been ages since I popped in here. I'm the ISTP, and going on 8 years ago, I married an ISTJ. Things are not going well. He came with some unknown baggage in the form of an alcoholic mother and a father who is generally uncaring and completely insensitive. As much as I'm not touchy feely, i still 100% need my partner to be considerate of me. And my husband is not. He's not polite, he doesn't like cuddles and he drinks many times a week. (Getting drunk, not just a beer/glass of wine with dinner.) We have a child together. She is 2.5, and I'm at the point where I can't let her grow up thinking his behavior is normal or acceptable.
I hope to have a more positive update over the next year.
I just want cuddles and to feel valued.
MC