I have!
I am an ENFP currently in a relationship with an ENTJ! It's AWESOME.
We were inseparable within a couple weeks of meeting, we were those best friends everyone assumed would end up together.
I thought everyone was right, lol, but he had his logical mind set on somebody else, so being the ENFP I am I did my best to help him end up with her so he could be happy. Which is weird, because I
knew he had feelings for me. I guess I just trusted his judgment, if he thought she was better for him, I respected that.
Our friendship was ridiculously amazing, even if it hurt me. I understood him better than anyone from the start, always knew what he was trying to say, always understood his logic and his underlying emotions. I understood that when he came across as harsh, it was his way of trying to care for people. But I never took any crap from him. If he was being manipulative, I called him on it with humour, and we would end up amused and teasing each other. (Like, one time when we'd just met he wanted me to go to a party I had no interest in attending, and he steamrolled over me on the phone, ignored my protests, then somehow made it seem like he was doing me a favour by getting people to pick me up. I literally stamped my foot, growled, and huffed, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, buster! I don't want to go, and you know it, and you're tricking me into this! You won't always get away with this! GRR!"
"Hehehe...Okay, I'll see you soon," he replied, and hung up. LOL!)
I was pretty happy when his logic caught up with his emotions a few months later, he was like, "Oh wait, I don't actually love the other girl, I love
her...okay, done deal. Now I just get her to marry me. Step one, dating first."
It was all very amusing. He tried to verbally get me in a corner where I admitted I had feelings for him beyond friendship, so he could be certain of success (my ENTJ is rather tenderhearted, he had no interest in being hurt as he has been in the past)...but I was angry and stubborn and was very tricky and I tricked him into admitting it before I did. It wasn't easy though, he's so refreshingly intelligent.
I like our banter and debate times. (Unless it gets too heated for me, in which case I tell him I need to stop due to anger or hurt or irritation or whatever. He's always like, "What the heck? Alright, whatever." HA! But I would despise a guy I could always outwit and outmaneuver. He's actually the only one I've met who I can't.)
We've been together for 8 months or so, and it's great. We're both Christian, so our values are the same, and he's decided that to be a real man he has to ensure that he loves me and looks after me in greater ways all the time, no matter what it takes. I am ridiculously lucky!
He's someone I can always always count on, and he never bores me (unless he decides that I need to hear a lecture on some obscure topic he's an expert on, but I fully support his bizarre brilliance and usually let him ramble), and he teaches me to stand up for myself and to keep my priorities rational. He also stands up for me if I
can't stand up for myself, which I appreciate. I give him unconditional love, laughter, understanding, a never-ending challenge (poor ENTJ, do you think he'll ever understand my crazy emotional landscape?), and I help him understand people and how to deal with them more effectively. (ME: "Tact!! Goodness me, that was not very tactful...if you want them to listen and not get their backs up, word it like
this... " HIM: "But that way sounds gay. Can't I just tell them they're all idiots and should listen to me?" ME: "Good grief...
no.") I spend a lot of time smoothing things over for him, lol. I let him be the leader, though my vast quantities of backbone and energy sometimes result in me trying to take the reigns without even realizing it. I'm working on not doing that though, it hurts him, makes him feel like I don't trust his leadership.
There are challenges, but we both look out for the other's best interests, which I think is a lot of what makes this work. We've had conflicts over me being emotionally self-sacrificing (ie: letting people hurt me and smiling through it), which he won't tolerate because it's dishonest and lets him and others walk on me. So, I don't do that anymore, and I'm much better off for it, as is our relationship. And we've had conflicts over him being controlling and inconsiderate, which makes me want to hop on a plane and never return or PUNCH HIM, lol, so he doesn't do that much anymore. He's still the leader, but he's (gasp shock horror!) a very sensitive one. If he hurts me or angers me we deal with it, lol. We also had conflicts over my absolute NEED to escape and travel and see things, and his absolute NEED to not have me out of his sight. We resolved this by agreeing to travel a lot together. Easy! ^_^ He's just as curious about the world and generally ~weird~ as I am, so it works. Another major conflict has been my commitment phobia, but I don't ever want to be with anyone else and I trust him, so it's not an issue...unless he starts talking about too far in the future and mentions kids. Then I panic. *cue me screaming here* So although we're agreed that one day
far far in the future we'll have them, we very decidedly DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT. Hahaha.
I know, I ramble. I just love him a ridiculous amount. We need each other, we're much better off together than apart.
Do I recommend that all ENFPs look for an ENTJ?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. It takes a lot of maturity and work and attraction and selflessness for this to work. That goes for any relationship, I realize this, but I think some personality combinations can get by together easier than others. I can see how an ENFP-ENTJ relationship could go very horribly. But...if you find yourself with a good match between these types, I'm telling you, when it works, it REALLY works!
love you bnches but it was just too much fun to miss!!!!!!!!!
