[MBTI General] ENFP vs ENFJ

[five sounds]

I am close with quite a few ENFJs. My dad is one of them. I definitely feel like I connect with these people, and we have lots of things in common. However, my dad has told me all my life that I'm exactly like him. I know we're alike in a lot of ways, but I just know that we're very different in others.

I don't know how to explain this to my dad (who is interested in MBTI stuff, but kind of relies on me to explain it to him).

My instinct is that ENFJs are less open to new ideas, pushier, and more easily pissed off than ENFPs. Of course I can't say that to my dad, and I really don't even know if it's true. I just feel like I see a side of each of them that gets that way, and am always a little put off by it. I also think they're a little more focused than we ENFPs, but my dad argues that it's hard for him to focus and that he's easily distracted.

Can anyone give me some insight into the differences and similarities between ENFPs and ENFJs?

 

[pinkgraffiti]

just tell him ENFJs are more decisive (instead of "pushy"). change all your negatives into positives and you'll be fine.

about the new ideas...you can tell him that ENFJs are actually open to ideas, but they just have a strong mind (decisiveness) so they'll be quick to form an opinion about something (dom Je) but are also open-minded to change their ideas if later exposed as wrong (aux Pi)

and then you can say that on the other hand ENFPs will be more likely to keep their options open and this is good because they can act as mediators or communicators in groups of different people with different backgrounds.... because they'll absorb all the different information without judging and will try to communicate it in an effective way...

so bottom line, both ENFJs and ENFPs are cool and should work together as a team, but they have different strength points.

 

[five sounds]

Thanks, pinkgrafitti. I feel like a jerk for seeing that decisiveness in kind of a negative light. I know it's that same decisiveness that I wish I had sometimes. Nice explanation though, and I appreciate the help.

I was intrigued by some info on our function stacks that I saw though. Although we're only a J/P split apart, our function stacks are much different. I wonder how that contributes to the differences between us.

 

[Stansmith]

just tell him ENFJs are more decisive (instead of "pushy"). change all your negatives into positives and you'll be fine.

about the new ideas...you can tell him that ENFJs are actually open to ideas, but they just have a strong mind (decisiveness) so they'll be quick to form an opinion about something (dom Je) but are also open-minded to change their ideas if later exposed as wrong (aux Pi)

and then you can say that on the other hand ENFPs will be more likely to keep their options open and this is good because they can act as mediators or communicators in groups of different people with different backgrounds.... because they'll absorb all the different information without judging and will try to communicate it in an effective way...

so bottom line, both ENFJs and ENFPs are cool and should work together as a team, but they have different strength points.

Hmmm. I'm starting to think I'm mistyping ENFP 2s as ENFJs. I know people who have that ExFJ selflessness and open-ness, but aren't pushy or controlling at all.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

[MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION] hey, im not an expert, i was not replying to ENFP vs ENJF differences but to how to talk with the father...but if i had to comment on that, i'd say the easiest difference I can see is the Fe in ENFJs.... i always sense them using Fe as a judging function

 

[21%]

ENFPs and ENFJs give off totally different vibes to me. Have you tried explaining the functions? ENFJs are dom Fe, so, yes, they can be really pushy and judgy, but it's 'all for your own good'!

 

[Honor]

I am close with quite a few ENFJs. My dad is one of them. I definitely feel like I connect with these people, and we have lots of things in common. However, my dad has told me all my life that I'm exactly like him. I know we're alike in a lot of ways, but I just know that we're very different in others.

I don't know how to explain this to my dad (who is interested in MBTI stuff, but kind of relies on me to explain it to him).

My instinct is that ENFJs are less open to new ideas, pushier, and more easily pissed off than ENFPs. Of course I can't say that to my dad, and I really don't even know if it's true. I just feel like I see a side of each of them that gets that way, and am always a little put off by it. I also think they're a little more focused than we ENFPs, but my dad argues that it's hard for him to focus and that he's easily distracted.

Can anyone give me some insight into the differences and similarities between ENFPs and ENFJs?

Hmmm, ENFJs are very...they're defined by a constant desire to not upset anyone. I have an ENFJ friend who says she spends most of her time trying to word things (in speech and in writing) in such a way that she doesn't offend anyone. And consequently she thinks that anyone who causes her any type of offense (real or perceived) is being "thoughtless." Granted, that's just one ENFJ. In general, they're good at reducing tension amongst different groups of people. I don't know any ENFPs who pay quite this much attention to not upsetting anyone although they're pretty "aware" of everyone else's psyches. I think ENFPs' point of pride is keeping an open-mind toward all people, behaviors, and ideas.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Hmmm, ENFJs are very...they're defined by a constant desire to not upset anyone. I have an ENFJ friend who says she spends most of her time trying to word things (in speech and in writing) in such a way that she doesn't offend anyone. And consequently she thinks that anyone who causes her any type of offense (real or perceived) is being "thoughtless." Granted, that's just one ENFJ. In general, they're good at reducing tension amongst different groups of people. I don't know any ENFPs who pay quite this much attention to not upsetting anyone although they're pretty "aware" of everyone else's psyches. I think ENFPs' point of pride is keeping an open-mind toward all people, behaviors, and ideas.

that's really crazy, because there is not any type in the world that can constantly offend me more than ESFJs/ENFJs, always stomping on my Fi.

 

[Stansmith]

that's really crazy, because there is not any type in the world that can constantly offend me more than ESFJs/ENFJs, always stomping on my Fi.

The advice they gave you makes so much logical sense, but it feels like a betrayal to myself. Fi tells you you're allowed to sin whenever it feels just, while Fe tells you should never sin, or at the very least, never let anyone believe that you've sinned.

 

[Honor]

that's really crazy, because there is not any type in the world that can constantly offend me more than ESFJs/ENFJs, always stomping on my Fi.

Haha, I know. I may be an FJ of some kind, but I do know what you mean. I think with ENFJs, though, when they say "offend," they mean someone hurt their feelings (i.e. told them they need to lose weight or something). They seem to have more tolerance for people pushing opinions on them than ENFPs. I think the problem is that because they don't mind it as much, they don't see it as valid as an offense.

The advice they gave you makes so much logical sense, but feels like a betrayal to myself. Fi tells you you're allowed to sin whenever it feels just, while Fe tells you should never sin, or at the very least, never let anyone believe that you've sinned.

Are you referring to how ENFJs seem to believe you're being a jerk if you're not taking responsibility for managing everyone's feelings?

 

[five sounds]

that's really crazy, because there is not any type in the world that can constantly offend me more than ESFJs/ENFJs, always stomping on my Fi.

This must be what I'm feeling. So what is it about them that steps on our Fi?

 

[Stansmith]

Are you referring to how ENFJs seem to believe you're being a jerk if you're not taking responsibility for managing everyone's feelings?

Yup.

 

[Glycerine]

I am close with quite a few ENFJs. My dad is one of them. I definitely feel like I connect with these people, and we have lots of things in common. However, my dad has told me all my life that I'm exactly like him. I know we're alike in a lot of ways, but I just know that we're very different in others.

I don't know how to explain this to my dad (who is interested in MBTI stuff, but kind of relies on me to explain it to him).

My instinct is that ENFJs are less open to new ideas, pushier, and more easily pissed off than ENFPs. Of course I can't say that to my dad, and I really don't even know if it's true. I just feel like I see a side of each of them that gets that way, and am always a little put off by it. I also think they're a little more focused than we ENFPs, but my dad argues that it's hard for him to focus and that he's easily distracted.

Can anyone give me some insight into the differences and similarities between ENFPs and ENFJs?

From my experience:

ENFJs are typically more deliberate and decisive while ENFPs are more "go with the flow" and in a sense, more "adaptable".

ENFJs can be adaptable but in an oddly premeditated way while ENFPs are genuinely "go with the flow".

ENFJs are generally more finicky with proper social protocol and can be quite pushy about it but in the same vein, ENFPs can be finicky if you go against their "personal values" and have a tendency to push them onto you.

From the get go, ENFPs tend to be genuinely more open to discuss their ideas and such but if you can get past the "social protocol" wall, ENFJs can be quite open to new ideas.

Plus, the generation gap probably plays a lot into it. To me, the two types are vastly different in vibe almost as much as ENTP and ENTJ.

 

[21%]

This must be what I'm feeling. So what is it about them that steps on our Fi?

I'd suggest digging up one of those Fe vs Fi threads. There's some very ugly clashes, but also some very illumining posts about how to bridge the gap

 

[five sounds]

I'd suggest digging up one of those Fe vs Fi threads. There's some very ugly clashes, but also some very illumining posts about how to bridge the gap

I did just that! Very insightful. I get just as fired up when my dad tries to change my beliefs as he does when his idea of what's right is violated (something that I've been doing unintentionally only because I've got my own brand of right and wrong and believe that he should too). So, sorry for saying ENFJs get more pissed off. It's just over things that I'm less affected by.

[MENTION=5109]Glycerine[/MENTION] I was really surprised when I read the functional stacks of the two types. We're more different than our P/J split might suggest. I definitely admit to being finicky about my "personal values," and I think the generation gap is pretty relevant too. My dad can be pretty racist sometimes, and that ignites a fire in me that I can't explain. Other ENFJs are a lot less offensive to me. The difference in what triggers us to get fierce normally just looks like one of us listening while the other one rants. Them about Fe and me about Fi.

The fact that ENFJ's auxiliary function is Ni is also really interesting. That makes ENFJs more focused and analytical than we Ne-doms. My dad is a computer programmer and I always joke that I would go insane or get fired if I had that job. Definitely an admirable function for my scattered self.

 

[Glycerine]

If your dad is a computer programmer, his Ti is probably pretty decent. Fi vs. Ti can really clash as well as Te vs. Fe (and of course, Fe vs. Fi).