There is a misunderstanding here, Ni users build walls of thought to protect their inner psyche more often than not. Intuition in it's introverted form feels the environment is threatening and tries to hide from it, seeking a safe environment to interact with. As Satine says; ENFPs have the magical ability to walk right through them and to play with the squishy inner Ni bits than many other types do. The other complication of Ni is that an Ni user can be crippled by even occasional small remarks by someone who they value or who they trust to let inside those walls. It's a learned defensive behaviour that is intrinsic to the type of cognition Ni dominants have.
Yes, this is true. I've only recently started to realize how much I try to control/account for everything, and much of my method of control is to be very protective with who is in my life in the first place. Extremely... preventative approach, rather than reactive. As for the walls... well, truthfully, I don't even want to be close to the vast majority of people. So the walls are very good in most cases. Of course the 'danger' is then not knowing how to remove them when I really don't want them there with those select few people; and unlearning some of what I naturally tend to do.
As to being crippled by small remarks from those we truly value, of course *because* we value/respect/care about them, we will probably hold their words/opinion far above that of others who aren't in our life in a similar capacity (This seems to be one of those 'human' things though - who doesn't do this?). Also, they've then by that point been incorporated into my life, and into my future, sort of - they're a part of my overall view -- so if they'd say something to bring all of that into question, well, that's a lot to potential rework internally - in terms of life view/vision, and my own ability to make good judgements might be called into question (by myself).
And if someone I TRULY liked/respected told me my walls sucked, etc etc, I think I'd most certainly withdraw and wouldn't trust them anymore because I'm sorry, my walls are just who I am to a degree, and slowly, slowly they'll be let down if someone over time is consistent and shows that they really want to know me - no matter what, and no matter how long it might take. If they 'let' me have my walls, my walls are much more likely to come down. I suppose, in a way, that's a bit of a test; if I don't have to BE anyone else than myself - myself being someone who's naturally protective and preventative - I'm free to be me without being pressured into opening up on the other persons' turf/pacing, then I'll feel more accepted and will then be that much more trusting/likely to then open up more, on my own. If they try to push me to be more open, quicker than I naturally would, I'd withdraw and would probably decide they're not the type of friend/relationship I really want. In fact - that's a theme, really - people who in the onset try to speed things up and push the intimacy/openness factor, and subtly label me as 'defective' for being more protective and slower-paced - get booted out fast. That's a dynamic that really, really bothers me.
If I'm already invested in someone (already chosen/decided I want them in my life), I'd probably be hurt and feel rejected if they then said they couldn't be my friend because of my rather private nature. Because, in essence, they really have a probem with who I am, then - and it's totally fine if my pacing doesn't jive with theirs and they need someone who's more naturally open and such, and if on their end they can't be friends with someone like me, but.... yeah.
I've probably totally tangented at this point and this isn't really related to the op anymore, but...
